Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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