Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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