Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
