I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
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