I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
