epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
