I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Watching her eat just hurts me
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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