we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize