brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
