glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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