I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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