i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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