$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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