Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Are we still banned from the library?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
