I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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