i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
zippers are such a cool invention
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
