Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
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