WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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