did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
