The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You're a waste of cheezeits
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
