4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
