You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
