I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
