420 ftw
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
