I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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