at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
