this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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