what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
