i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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