I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I wear drunk well.
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