he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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