I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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