We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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