I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
