Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
We named our party play list daddy issues
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching her eat just hurts me
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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