i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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