We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
