pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
