Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Sober January is a disaster.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I licked your asshole in confidence.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
