I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
