Apparently you make a good broom.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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