so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I need to stop coming to work sober
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
