Screwed.edu
meet me or not, i'm out of control
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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