she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
