I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
