How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize