oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
