I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Randomize
