They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
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I need you to use more vowels.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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