R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
