I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
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