i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize