six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
