Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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