when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize