remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize