hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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