My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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